Willingness to List those We have Harmed
We have Harmed and Hurt Others
“The mind loves to not know completely. Situations that are not familiar tune the system. To get smarter, do the unfamiliar.”
Magaly Rodriguez Mossman
Willingness-Readiness-Confession “What more do you want from me?”, we ask.
We are seeking humility through direct amends. We start to rebuild relationships on a solid foundation.
We won’t get very far on this odyssey if we are not willing to look at the hurt, we have caused others. Yes, we did look at our shortcomings when we took our inventory, now it is time to look at what harm we have caused.
Willingness to forgive and be forgiven is what we need. We want to escape the captivity of resentment.
We must be willing to lay down our defensive postures, which keep us from saying a sincere “I was wrong, please forgive me”.
We do not point any fingers when we make our list. We have strained these relationships. We take no one else’s inventory when we are seeking amends.
The “yeah, buts” and “you too” or “the what about them?” must not be part of this step. If you sense any resentment being ignited, I suggest you lay your list aside and go back to the 6th and 7th Steps. When you feel that you can approach this step with some maturity, please resume.
Are we willing to make amends face to face?
This step asks us to amend an error, fix something that is broken in our lives.
Are there times you couldn’t make a little league game because of golf? Have you lied to get to the driving range or the course? Who has suffered while you have your little tantrums? Who have you blamed for your poor performance?
We have hurt or harmed others along the way, many of us have sought the superficial “I’m sorry”, just to make do. We are not going to just flip this step off and expect to become healed.
This is where the rubber hit’s the road and prepares us for the difficult step ahead.
Time wounds all heels, and remembers we have been the heels.
What goes around, comes around and pay backs are hell.
The list was started with our inventory, use that as your starting point.
It may be impossible to make restitution for, let’s say, money we have won based on an inflated handicap. We can make an effort to donate those monies. Perhaps it was a charity tournament where we won something, give that charity the ill gotten gains.
It takes real courage when we prepare to make direct amends, we need prayer again:
“Lord grant me the willingness to clear away the mess I have made over the years. Help me to rebuild my life with humility and courage. Thy will be done.”
“Response is happening all around me. Every day I hear about someone whose life finally “clicks“ and off they go. Once they get it, they have to do something about it. For the rest of us, working up to this moment, it‘s scary and exciting to see it happen in others.
Made Direct Amends