Surrender to Win


No one likes to admit defeat and we must surrender to win!


“Sooner or later a choice will have to be made; to continue on a willful path, in which one tries to secure autonomy and self determination or to embark on a spiritual path in which one seeks ever greater willingness to become part of the fundamental processes of life in self-surrender.”

Gerald May
Will and Spirit.




We admit we are powerless over people places and things which we encounter on our way up the fairway. Surrender to the truths that we are powerless over the weather, the Rules and Etiquette, and the people we may be teamed up with is the first step to acceptance.

Golf is a game of concentration and focus-and when we lose that composure, we lose confidence and decision making and committing to our shots can be lost. We become powerless and have surrendered to the lie.

We must accept the Chatty Charlie or Charlene, who constantly want to tell us about how their golf lessons are going. Everything they are being told by their pro or husband or wife. They always have a long story to tell just as it is our turn to tee up, they just won‘t shut up.

I have noticed that golfers have so much in common with fishermen, gamblers and alcoholics we are always minimizing or exaggerating something about ourselves. It is very amusing. Please listen with a sense of humor.


We whine over errant shots or errors in our swing. “What am I doing wrong?”, we ask with that look of despair. This is our game not anyone else's, and we are not the center of the universe. We are surrendering to the wrong things.

There are those of us who will not express anything verbally but will behave in manners unbecoming a gentleman or a lady. We want you to surrender your game for our sake. We stomp around and become very ugly. We may even throw a club or two. We give you that look if you are not paying attention to our teeing off or putting. Our whole attitude is that of superiority and disgust with those around us who won't play by OUR RULES. We have lost internal control and demand we control you.

The Rules and Etiquette are there for a reason. They have evolved over the many years for the sake of the player. Would anyone play any other game that did not have rules? Whether it be soccer, softball, bowling or bridge, would you play a game where rules were made up as you went along? The rules are there to protect us not punish us. These rules may look overwhelming at first blush, but you will see how they all fall in place and are basically logical, and we must surrender to these truths, and accept them if we are going to be golfers. Golf is drenched in tradition, a rich and honorable history. It is our responsibility to educate ourselves in the rules and etiquette for our benefit.

I would like all you gents out there to accept the fact that had it not been for a woman (Mary Queen of Scots) we would not be having any conversations about golf. Yes, it took a woman’s love of the game to make it legal. As funny and many men think that golf stands for "Gents only, Ladies forbidden", it really stands for "Gals only Laddies forbidden", sorry guys, but you must come to grips with these facts.

We are also powerless over the weather, and as we know this could add as many as 10 strokes to our round. Until you understand this powerlessness you will not be content, do not be discouraged or angry because of it. I will share this bit of trivia with you-back in the day when par was developed it was based on perfect conditions, both weather and course. In the early years, they would post what the course would be playing to, based on the weather and course conditions, par would be 72 but a daily par could be 76 or even a 78 depending on the weather. You must cut yourself some slack here and think about what the real par is for any given day you play.

Please think about all those things that we have no control over, and we are actually powerless to change. Please make a list for yourself to see just what seems to agitate you.

Here are some that might get you started:

A. Top dressing greens just before a tournament.

B. Pace of Play

C. Sandbaggers

D. Plumb-bobbing

E. Cart signs that keep changing from 30 yards from the green to 100 yards on the next.

F. Unrepaired ball marks.

G. Maintenance crews always getting to the next fairway/green just before you.

H. People hitting into you.

I. The foursome in front you who won't let go of that lost ball.


“To be exceptional means to be outside the norm, to be unusual, to be alone. We don’t often think of it that way, but when we start longing for something, we become the exception. We have to choose between wanting to belong and willingness to follow the lonely, individual path….....(The Fairway less Traveled).”

Joy Houghton.






Restoration to Sanity

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