Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years dealing with him across a desk.
Golf appeals to the idiot and us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
Horace G. Hutchenson
They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
If more people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
If you drink, don’t drive, don’t even putt.
If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.
My handicap? Woods and irons.
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.
I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting out of them!
The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
Golf Quips, Quotes, and Jokes Diecut Calendar 2010
God Loves Golfers Best: The Best Jokes, Quotes, and Cartoons for Golfers
Par for the Course: Golf's Best Quotes and Quips
Golf Quotations: A Collection of Stylish Pictures and the Best Golf Quotes