Forgiveness and Forgiving

Remember: Just because SOMEONE may forgive US, doesn’t MEAN they are going to have LUNCH with us.

“The time to make a decision is like approaching the godhead: you have to bow three times to your fear and ambivalence. You can‘t just do it once. You have to humble yourself until you‘re ready to meet your destiny…..which is action.”
Rebecca Hill

“Forgiveness and direct amends, what do you mean?”, you ask. Just what it says, got that chip off our shoulder now we can correct the errors of our past, and we ask for forgiveness.

Clearing the broken or strained relationships is what we must do before we can really TASTE FREEDOM.

We have gone through life like we were really “something” (humility was not in our vocabulary). We may have had the right job, the right car, or the right “friends”, but who were we? We had really made “something of ourselves” or had we? What did we have to sacrifice to be that “somebody”, PROBABLY OUR SOULS?

We may think we have been courageous by being such b’sds or b’chs on the links, spouting off time and again and trying to run the show, but we were not.

Let us see how courageous we are when it really matters, when we must ask for forgiveness sincerely and heartfelt. Is that a lump in your throat? Do I sense a desire to retreat? COME ON “BIG SHOT”, where is your courage now?


It is our time to take full responsibility for our behavior. If someone wants to “let us know exactly what they think of us”, we do not engage in one-ups-manship. We made amends, we asked for forgiveness, what they do with it is up to them, don’t expect to be forgiven right away or ever. This step is for us to clean our side of the street.

Discretion would be the way to contemplate the direct amends. When you can trust yourself to make things right, atone for your lack of character. Please move forward.

Remember this is a process. It took us years to develop our defects of character it will take time and dedication and being rejected from time to time. Stay firm in your program and keep moving forward.

There may be some that it is just impossible to make amends to. If you have become willing to ask for their forgiveness and correct the faults of your past, pray for forgiveness and another way to amend the error.


Start with the family, if you missed a child’s recital or little league performance, change your priorities and sincerely miss those rounds for your children's sake. Clean out that garage or do those dishes before you head out to a driving range, and don’t take your anger, of your poor performance on the links, out on your family or your dog.

There should be a new you coming to fruition. We are clearing the unhappiness, disappointment and stupidity of our past.



Help me to correct where I have done wrong. Lord, grant me the courage to face those I have harmed. Help me to rid myself of my selfishness and strengthen me to grow.

“forgiveness is the great “yes“. It is a decision in the sense that you will it. You have to choose life. A person can choose death by not forgiving. So there is a sense in which you can destroy yourself by not saying “yes“ to the reality that actually exists. That‘s the choice, “yes“ or “no“ to what truly exists.
Thomas Hopko

Parabola, vol. XII, no. 3

We Continued to Learn about Ourselves

On Forgiveness

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