Forgiven: Our Life is Changed
We want to be forgiven, but we must do our part.
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger that steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free”
Catherine Ponder, Quotes
Forgiving is crucial if we are going to have any success in walking these steps. We have heard the phrase “walk the talk” or "if you are going to talk the talk, you’ve got to walk the talk". I believe it had its origins in 12 Step recovery programs. Since I could not find any evidence to the contrary, I am going to make my assumption.
When we honestly forgive, there is a definite change to one's demeanor. There is the change in one's conduct, but there will be physical changes that will occur, which have been attributed to the release of have harmed us.
The Mayo Clinic observes that letting go will:
Lower blood pressure and heart rate
Reduce stress and pain
Attain better anger management
Develop healthier relationships
Improve psychological well being
I have observed when an individual has been liberated from the malice they have held onto, a change in their general appearance happens. One will begin to walk with their head held higher, no longer will their shoulders be slumped as the burdens of resentment are lifted. One's facial features seem to change, there is a younger look to them. There was a hatefulness in their expression, now there is a look in their eyes of freedom and joy. There is a new energy radiating from them.
This is serious business and should not be taken lightly. Ridding ourselves of resentment empowers. Letting go of those who have harmed us and admitting the wrongs, we have done others. We become a totally new person.
There is a defining moment in every person’s life, within that moment, everything that a person is, shines its brightest.
Murder is Murder:
When you forgive you are liberated from hatefulness. You no longer have the desire to destroy others or yourself.
Non-Forgivers are hateful and destructive. They desire to destroy through a number of activities:
Destroy the reputations of others through rumor and gossip and innuendo
Sarcasm, the tearing of flesh
Mockery, the scornful contempt of others
Murder is not always the physical demise of someone. We do call it “character assassination” for a reason.
The resentful person believes they are trying to destroy the object of that which they despise. Vengefulness is a lifestyle for them. The reason for their outward revenge is the inner turmoil they cannot face. They project their own self hatred onto an object or person to avoid having to look at their own souls, disassociated with reality.
Is the hateful individual in the throngs of psychosis an abnormal condition of the mind or is it neurosis which is any mental imbalance that causes distress (loss, grief, sadness, issues of finding meaning and purpose). Neurotics seek general therapists. Psychotics need psychiatric help. I am not a physician or licensed therapist but these are the accepted definitions.
I have often seen individuals simply outgrow a problem which had destroyed others.
We must know what forgiveness is not, to honestly forgive:
It does not justify the behavior, nor understand or explain away the behavior.
It is not just forgetting about the offense in hopes that time will take care of it.
It is not asking God to forgive the offender.
It is not asking God to forgive you for your anger or resentment for being hurt.
It is not denying the other persons behavior.
You have to make the choice to let go of the resentment, just do it and the feelings will follow, God will take care of those.
Release the person from your grasp, “you are free and forgiven”.
Accept that individual without wanting to change them.
Pray for the grace to be forgiving.
It is a personal commitment to forgive.
“Let us stop allowing people, places and things the right to live rent free in our minds”